If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
