3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
honey bunches of taint.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
she peed on how many people?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
