wat bout pragnant strippers??
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
