she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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