we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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