i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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