I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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