We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
