I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
