it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
