Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
