I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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