I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize