I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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