I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
