Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
