Non-Jews are for practice
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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