he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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