i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
