He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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