My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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