he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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