i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
