i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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