12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
