question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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