So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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