His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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