soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
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