no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
