I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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