my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
