Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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