id be glad to
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize