Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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