We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
