There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
