Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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