Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We have started to decorate penises.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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