Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
