do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
