Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday

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(619): View more from California

i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.

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(631): View more from New York

So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone

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(812): View more from Indiana

she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.

(1-812): View more from Indiana

thatta girl

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(970): View more from Colorado

just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....

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(540): View more from Virginia

Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.

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(718): View more from New York

door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.

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(631): View more from New York

Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.

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(916): View more from California

I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.

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