I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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