Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
