Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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