Whod you bang
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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