Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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