I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
