And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
