I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
