There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Randomize
