those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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