I'm so fucking centered right now
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
