She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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