i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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