Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize