Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize