CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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