I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
