i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
