Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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