so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
