How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
