When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
