I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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