talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I want to make a zoo with you.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
