is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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