Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
