Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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