I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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