Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
