we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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