tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
