We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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