Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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